The Straight Path

Lately, I've had a lot of things swirling around in my brain. Things I've wanted to share, but then, as I began thinking more on them, I got weighed down by their gravity. On relationships and giving thanks and living from enough and being in the here and now - both through the joys and the frustrations of parenting (and pregnancy with a toddler).

The other day, I was headed home, sitting at a red light with a mile long line of cars in front of me. The left lane was practically empty, as it always is, because everyone and myself eventually needed to turn right instead. I committed to the right lane, and after a minute of puttering along, the cars in front of me came to a halt.

I'm not an impatient driver, entirely. But we all have days. So I was frustrated at the unapparent reason for delay and swerved into the left lane, foot on the gas.

And there she was. 

The terrified doe jumped as quickly as she could from the road to the median as my car hurled toward her. I slammed on my brakes and could barely keep my composure for the remaining five-minute drive home.

Five minutes. I was the jerk who nearly pummeled an innocent doe out of impatience to get home in five minutes. I was mortified - and sad, most of all. "I'm sorry's" spilled out from everywhere, without any true recipient on the other end. To whom was I apologizing?

We've lived in Colorado for seven years now. The frequency of encounters with deer can be likened to seeing someone walking their dog. We are trained to respect and be mindful of wildlife on the road. I stop for deer nearly every day. How could this thought have slipped my mind?

In that moment, or perhaps several moments later, I vowed never to lose patience in similar situations again, despite warnings that the "all or nothing" approach to resolutions almost never work.

But it wasn't the thought of the deer that pierced me most. Deer are common enough 'round here that you can't always be prepared for them to run out into the street. I am often amazed at their acute ability to wait and watch for the opportunity to cross, particularly with babies in tow.

It was my behavior that ravaged me most. And as I reflected upon the incident in the days and weeks that passed, I realized I was apologizing to myself. For all the times I have spoken before thinking, reacted before seeing, or judged before knowing.

Every day is an opportunity to grow and learn and love and teach. Every person has a story, an invisible lifeline that trails them as they go about their day, and though we cannot see it, we have the opportunity to speak hope into that lifeline and give it the same grace that we received when God sent His son to pay the biggest price ever paid - all for us, his children, to wash clean our sins.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Wouldn't you do anything for your children? No matter how naughty they may be one day or the next, you know their heart. You are rooting for them every single step of the way. You know their weaknesses, their hot spots, their most worldly cravings and desires.

One of my husband's favorite lines to quote when my daughter gets testy comes from a Max Lucado Hermie and Friends video, "The Straight Path." It's about two caterpillars headed to a party. Their friend, Schneider Snail, who is throwing the party, gives them directions to get to his house: "Stay on the straight path and it will take you right to my house." With many distractions along the way, one of the caterpillars needs constant reminders from the other to stay on the straight path.

The truth is, we are a distracted bunch of people. Life can be busy, chaotic, tiring, all out crAzy. And we want to just get where we are going, or do what we are doing or have what we want in our possession as quickly and as easily as possible. But God has promised tribulation in our lives. This isn't supposed to be easy, ya'll. The good news? He's also promised salvation - not just the big kind - but from our everyday messes and hiccups and ugly moments.

"But take heart; I have overcome the world."

Isn't that what we promise our kids? At the end of the day, our love still reigns. As parents, we aren't just trying to keep our kids alive and on the "straight path." We are trying to stay on this path ourselves. 

How lucky are we that we don't have to win at life? He already has. We just have to        F O L L O W  him and raise the next generation to do the same. To be conscious of the unknowns, the invisibles, the unanswered, and seek God's will instead of our own. For His is so perfect in every moment of our day .