The struggles we find

Let it go. Let go of the worry. Stop the doubt. Release the anxiety.

What good has come from it?
What time has been reclaimed?
What problems have been resolved from your worrying?

Exactly.

Life goes on. The world keeps turning, through the night and as the sun rises. And even if it's been raining, or storming, for hours or days or months or years... it's gonna let up. And you'll be wet for a while, but you'll be OK.

You. Will. Be. OK.

Ever felt like this?

Recently, I reclaimed from my parents a box of journals filled with thoughts, prayers, hopes and dreams from my youth. Thumbing through them was fun, but painful. Because even as children we begin this practice of worry. Many of the same tendencies toward thinking that often suffocated my ability to live joyfully as a young girl remain with me even now. They've grown up a little and adapted to "adult" life. But they still steal joy.

Worry has taken on a new face. Instead of worrying about being liked, finding love, getting into college or surviving my parents, I worry about my children, my marriage, my finances, my time, my health, my house. I worry if I worry too much.

My small but mighty family got caught in a storm recently. After six years, we uprooted ourselves from the only home we've known as us three and moved from Colorado to Nashville. It was on wings of faith that we arrived and with hearts full of hope for something new, yet familiar thanks to family nearby.

But life got messy, real quick.  I won't go into details about it now. Maybe one day. But things happen. Life happens.

I don't want to downplay our time here or portray it as negative. Sosie met her littlest cousin, took her first trip to the beach, road tripped to Virginia, visited both her great-grandpas, celebrated birthdays, recitals and went on three family Easter egg hunts. We've made more memories in two months with our wonderful families than we have in nearly 10 years. It was a reminder of that which we've been gifted during this life. And that's a lot.

It was through the fear, the disappointment, the heartbreak and the brokenness that I began to realize a truth I should have hung onto long ago. That despite how distraught we can be or how broken we feel, we can ultimately choose to live in joy for in our struggles we find our Savior. 

Our need for Him cannot exist without faith. Faith that you will be OK, even when things are as bad as they seem. That the sun will find your face again. That there is joy before, throughout and after the heartache. Because God is near. And He will not give you more than you and He can handle together. 

We'll be back in Colorado soon. I'll miss our families, the laughs and moments that can only be created and shared within them. I am thankful for them - and I am grateful to the sweet South for the space it allowed me to grow, learn, make mistakes and take chances. Now it's our little family's turn to do some growing up and in our faith in the Colorado mountain air.

Ya'll take care.